The constant battle !

It’s oh so cloudy, it’s oh so dull ! I can’t remember the artist or the rest of the words, but it brings new meaning to me.
It’s a constant battle, new problems weekly, if not daily, I have new boots now , all with zips on the side because I can’t tie my shoelaces.
I can’t use a knife and fork, just one implement at a time, my brain cannot multitask, it can’t do two things at once.
I shout out random words which are only supposed to be private thoughts, don’t tell me your secrets. Lol !
I don’t do well with jokes or sarcasm, I don’t get the punch line, are you joking or telling me a story, should I laugh or should I cry !
Faces don’t appear in my memories anymore and I ask my children their names.
Tired all the time, everything is such hard work, exhausting.
A grown man having to be reminded to do everything, anything.
I scream inside, I scream at my poor dog, so I don’t at my family. But he understands and still lays by my feet and looks at me sometimes to make sure it’s still me .
But It’s not me, I’m disappearing so fast and this new slow ,old, tired ,inpatient man is coming to the fore, angry and uneducated,
he’s so hard to reason with because I think he finds everything so hard to understand, I’m becoming like a child.
I’m unlearning every thing I’ve ever known one horrible day at a time.
‘Living well’ I don’t ! I live with ! ‘Not suffering ‘. I do, my family do, in every way every day.
Scared that one day the cloud won’t lift !
This isn’t written for sympathy ,it’s for insight and education, and for other diagnosed, to show them they are not alone



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