Find it easier to lay out my feelings with my own little poems
Joy and laughter, presents and snow
Turkey, crackers, hats and cake
Children playing, noise and fuss
Stressed and anxious, feeling low
Shouting and music, nowhere to go
Staring, eyes open, tears they flow
Pacing, talking, walking And walking
Heart racing, pounding, and feeling sick
head spinning and hurting
It’s Christmas I think
Starting to feel quite anxious about it all 😞 and I used to love Christmas .
Feeling a bit flat, here’s an insight ,
I look out of the window, staring at the sky
Just longing and wishing, that I could fly .
All the noise has gone and at last I can flee
Leaving all my troubles ,right behind me.
My eyes grow bigger, my mouth opens wide,
Into the white, beautiful clouds, I collide
Spinning, turning and flying carefree
I’m on my own ,just grinning with glee.
Then I fall and fall ,screaming so loud
No longer feeling ,so tall and proud
Just looking at the sky,
Wishing I could fly,
I cry 😔
What a lot of what a lot of people don’t realise about Alzheimer’s and dementia is that is the reason why we don’t like going out ,
it’s nothing to do with withdrawal or keeping ourselves from people ,it’s mainly because of the noise .
I’ve lost the ability to filter out noise ,so one-to-one is fine as long as they speak slowly ( but not loudly, I’m not deaf ).three or four, if they take turns to talk and not all starting shouting to be heard above each other,I can almost cope with that but more than that and the noise just mixes into one ,becomes a garbled mess .
It then becomes very difficult for me, I start to raise my voice to be heard above the background noise and people think I’m shouting and behaving inappropriately because of the Alzheimer’s or I go the other way ,and just shut up and stop talking altogether.
This not talking much can then quite easily turn into a bad habit !
Off to Chester City shopping with my girls today, the card is going to be seriously damaged.dont like shopping so much since alzhiemers came along. The bustle of people running forwards and backwards ,the noise is so bad you can’t filter out anything,it just becomes a garbled mess. The whole thing of trying to be normal is so tiring. I start to lose my bearings and feel lost every way you turn looks the same and the panic starts to set in. Why don’t you stay at home I hear you say, isn’t that giving up ! ?