I used to laugh, live and dream ,
Idle summer days, beer and wine.
Children playing,and enjoying my years .
Family, friends and the love of my life,
Memories in the making,
Pictures of the past
I used to be normal just like you,
I loved, laughed ,and dreamed ,too.
The darkness it came and it killed my life,
Despite the love of my family ,and the love of my wife
I slowly sank into my shell
Only surfacing for a short while, feeling like hell,
Fighting and shouting, never giving up !
whilst drinking from, my dementia cup
Someone told me about this poem the other day, found and read it , very potent and very true, thanks Steve McG
What do you see, nurse, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you’re looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far away eyes.
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice, “I do wish you’d try?”
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will.
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill,
Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I use at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet.
A bride soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide, and a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At forty my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn.
At fifty once more babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old woman and nature is cruel,
‘Tis just to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again.
I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer – see ME!!
Feeling a bit flat, here’s an insight ,
I look out of the window, staring at the sky
Just longing and wishing, that I could fly .
All the noise has gone and at last I can flee
Leaving all my troubles ,right behind me.
My eyes grow bigger, my mouth opens wide,
Into the white, beautiful clouds, I collide
Spinning, turning and flying carefree
I’m on my own ,just grinning with glee.
Then I fall and fall ,screaming so loud
No longer feeling ,so tall and proud
Just looking at the sky,
Wishing I could fly,
I cry 😔