My memories waver on the edge of reason,
Trying to be normal is no longer easy
A reprieve would be nice for just one day,
But As I wait it never happens that way
Younger and younger my brain starts to grow
My emotions jumping to and fro,
My limbs they tremble when I walk,
My voice it waivers when I talk.
All the inner pain no one can see,
Stops myself, being me.
Please understand what you can’t see !
I need to sleep ! I can’t sleep,
when I should be sleeping, I’m not sleeping, when I shouldn’t, I am !!
I go to bed, two hours later, I am wide-awake,
absolutely wide-awake !
Tried the soup and a hot chocolate, and the Horlicks just before bed ,
it works at first ,no problem getting to sleep for 2-3 hours, then Wide awake again.
The limited time I do sleep is full of night terrors!
I’m not sure if this is a side effect of the medication I’m on or the Dementia or even both !!
But it doesn’t help one bit, it’s tiring trying to be normal without sleep deprivation 😳😳😳😫
Having alzheimers wasn’t, isn’t the end, it was a bloody shock ! Well it was ,after the diagnosis, I thought I was slowly going mad before they finally told me .
but when the doctor sat us down to give a final diagnosis, it was actually a relief ! Can’t explain why , but the wife and I both smiled and said “we knew ”
two weeks later it kicked in, with a sledge hammer ! We all cried a lot that week. Then I thought that there are a lot of people worse off and decided to get on with it and adapt !!
You see ,it’s my family and friends I feel for, they will have to deal with it when I can’t !
They will remember when I won’t ! 😔😔😔😔😔