Worries about dementia, the “normal” life killer !

I Didn’t think I had any worries. Life was good ! Maybe to good !
Because then it started !
I started worry about some times getting lost, the worry about why I’m unable to accomplish things as easy as I used to,
The worry about why I was struggling with money.
It then started to affect my relationship and family life, The worry then started to affect me !
The worry through the The diagnosis procedure, the worry about what was happening to me.
The Worry i had trying not to worry about the worry !
When the diagnosis did come, that was the biggest worry, but not for me.
My poor wife and children are going to have to deal with the worst ! The late stages when I won’t remember, when I might not know them or even care !
I worry about the shouting I do, for almost no reason, the worry about where that patient and
understanding man has gone !
I worry when I hear my wife crying on her own and when I see a tear in my daughter’s eye.
The worry when I’m locked in a room because my hands are full, I worry when I can’t do my own tie or
Asking your children to tie up your laces and to remind me of their name !
I worry when I stagger and can’t see steps, I worry when I fall !
I worry about respite and day care, I worry about where I’m to go !
My head gets so confused and cloudy, my thoughts don’t make sense anymore.
I worry on the days when I’m tired and find it so difficult to talk
Did I say I worry what’s to become of Me, me that’s starting to disappear, day by day,
I worry about the hold Dementia has on me and my family !
I worry about my lack of love that I used to have, I don’t love or feel anymore
I worry that I can cry for no reason and scream for even less !
I worry about the limited future I and my family don’t have any more.
People say don’t worry ! Life goes on ! Living well with it ! And even the joy !
I worry about people not understanding
I worry with dementia, day by day
I’m not supposed to worry, Ive got to get up and beat this disease, I’ve got to live well with it, we don’t suffer, it’s not painful !
Well then I’ll tell you what ! Let’s swop !

Inner pain, no one can see !

Alzheimer’s
My memories waver on the edge of reason,
Trying to be normal is no longer easy
A reprieve would be nice for just one day,
But As I wait it never happens that way
Younger and younger my brain starts to grow
My emotions jumping to and fro,
My limbs they tremble when I walk,
My voice it waivers when I talk.
All the inner pain no one can see,
Stops myself, being me.

Please understand what you can’t see !

© chrisroberts