I Didn’t think I had any worries. Life was good ! Maybe to good !
Because then it started !
I started worry about some times getting lost, the worry about why I’m unable to accomplish things as easy as I used to,
The worry about why I was struggling with money.
It then started to affect my relationship and family life, The worry then started to affect me !
The worry through the The diagnosis procedure, the worry about what was happening to me.
The Worry i had trying not to worry about the worry !
When the diagnosis did come, that was the biggest worry, but not for me.
My poor wife and children are going to have to deal with the worst ! The late stages when I won’t remember, when I might not know them or even care !
I worry about the shouting I do, for almost no reason, the worry about where that patient and
understanding man has gone !
I worry when I hear my wife crying on her own and when I see a tear in my daughter’s eye.
The worry when I’m locked in a room because my hands are full, I worry when I can’t do my own tie or
Asking your children to tie up your laces and to remind me of their name !
I worry when I stagger and can’t see steps, I worry when I fall !
I worry about respite and day care, I worry about where I’m to go !
My head gets so confused and cloudy, my thoughts don’t make sense anymore.
I worry on the days when I’m tired and find it so difficult to talk
Did I say I worry what’s to become of Me, me that’s starting to disappear, day by day,
I worry about the hold Dementia has on me and my family !
I worry about my lack of love that I used to have, I don’t love or feel anymore
I worry that I can cry for no reason and scream for even less !
I worry about the limited future I and my family don’t have any more.
People say don’t worry ! Life goes on ! Living well with it ! And even the joy !
I worry about people not understanding
I worry with dementia, day by day
I’m not supposed to worry, Ive got to get up and beat this disease, I’ve got to live well with it, we don’t suffer, it’s not painful !
Well then I’ll tell you what ! Let’s swop !
Monthly Archives: January 2014
Inner pain, no one can see !
Again !
Debate on dementia in the House of Lords
Again !
It’s that time again
It’s night time again.
Alone again
On my own again.
Sleepless nights again
On my own again.
Nightmares a coming
Nightmares to stay.
Sweating and turning
Again and again !
When will it stop.
Alone again
Nightmares again
It’s that time again,
And again
© chrisroberts
In the shoes of Chris Roberts … | Living with younger onset dementia…
Thank you very much for a brilliant write up gill@whoseshoes
In the shoes of Chris Roberts … | Living with younger onset dementia….
Inner pain, no one can see !
Alzheimer’s
My memories waver on the edge of reason,
Trying to be normal is no longer easy
A reprieve would be nice for just one day,
But As I wait it never happens that way
Younger and younger my brain starts to grow
My emotions jumping to and fro,
My limbs they tremble when I walk,
My voice it waivers when I talk.
All the inner pain no one can see,
Stops myself, being me.
Please understand what you can’t see !
© chrisroberts
I am a person not a disease !
And you don’t have to raise your voice when speaking to me !
Life is for living !
I used to laugh, live and dream ,
Idle summer days, beer and wine.
Children playing,and enjoying my years .
Family, friends and the love of my life,
Memories in the making,
Pictures of the past
I used to be normal just like you,
I loved, laughed ,and dreamed ,too.
The darkness it came and it killed my life,
Despite the love of my family ,and the love of my wife
I slowly sank into my shell
Only surfacing for a short while, feeling like hell,
Fighting and shouting, never giving up !
whilst drinking from, my dementia cup
© chrisroberts
Life is for living !
I used to laugh, live and dream ,
Idle summer days, beer and wine.
Children playing,and enjoying my years .
Family, friends and the love of my life,
Memories in the making,
Pictures of the past
I used to be normal just like you,
I loved, laughed ,and dreamed ,too.
The darkness it came and it killed my life,
Despite the love of my family ,and the love of my wife
I slowly sank into my shell
Only surfacing for a short while, feeling like hell,
Fighting and shouting, never giving up !
whilst drinking from, my dementia cup
© chrisroberts
Dementia survivor, so far..... 