What do you see nurse ?

Someone told me about this poem the other day, found and read it , very potent and very true, thanks Steve McG

What do you see, nurse, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you’re looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far away eyes.

Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice, “I do wish you’d try?”
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.

Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will.
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill,
Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you’re not looking at me.

I’ll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I use at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet.
A bride soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide, and a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.

At forty my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn.
At fifty once more babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known.

I’m now an old woman and nature is cruel,
‘Tis just to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again.

I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer – see ME!!

Sleep ! What’s that ?

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I need to sleep ! I can’t sleep,
when I should be sleeping, I’m not sleeping, when I shouldn’t, I am !!
I go to bed, two hours later, I am wide-awake,
absolutely wide-awake !
Tried the soup and a hot chocolate, and the Horlicks just before bed ,
it works at first ,no problem getting to sleep for 2-3 hours, then Wide awake again.
The limited time I do sleep is full of night terrors!
I’m not sure if this is a side effect of the medication I’m on or the Dementia or even both !!
But it doesn’t help one bit, it’s tiring trying to be normal without sleep deprivation 😳😳😳😫

“Waiting”

I used to laugh, live and dream ,
Idle summer days, beer and wine.
Children playing,and enjoying my years .
Family, friends and the love of my life,
Memories in the making,
Pictures of the past !
Family, laughter ,and cries of joy ,
Loving and living, tears and frowns .
Clowns and puppets, pretence and fear .
Months and months, year after year !
Ups and downs, round and round,
Loving and living,
Waiting in line.
© chrisroberts.

Crying while you smile !

Don’t you look well, they cry ! Don’t you look great !
If you’d like to be me ,let’s make a date !
I’ll give you one hour ,and then you’ll see
The darkness that tries ,to devour me
You’ll see what drowns, the person you knew,
And the bright hours I have left are only few,

Now, the darkness surrounds me and threatens my past,
How long, can days such as these last !
Tears fall all around me, they flood my feelings, they soak my face,
Yesterday’s memories packed away in my case.
I scream quietly, my eyes they retreat .
Trying to remember yesterday is quite a feat !
with a smile on my face,
I cover ,my disgrace.
© chrisroberts

Poem to share about young onset !

I look out from barred young old eyes that should not understand
What my life is to bring ,
Head hurting and spinning round ,
Meds and breathing, breathing and meds !
Ups and downs, rounds and round !
Undoing what I’ve learnt,
everything I’ve ever known ,
falling over, falling down ,
I see them laugh, I see them frown,
I’m Just becoming ,
everyone’s clown !
© chrisroberts

Christmas with Alzheimer’s !

Joy and laughter, presents and snow
Turkey, crackers, hats and cake
Children playing, noise and fuss
Stressed and anxious, feeling low
Shouting and music, nowhere to go
Staring, eyes open, tears they flow
Pacing, talking, walking And walking
Heart racing, pounding, and feeling sick
head spinning and hurting
It’s Christmas I think
© chrisroberts.

Please give some understanding and a little space for sufferers at one of the busiest and noisiest times of year.
Thank you 😔

This was written for all the affected that don’t have a voice anymore, so their families and carers could maybe take a step back and see the person that’s still in there, somewhere ! 😔

Dementia survivor, so far.....

Memories shouldn’t be for just one day
Sitting in the corner shouldn’t be the way
Not speaking, or looking around
Trying not to make the slightest sound
You don’t want to be, a burden anymore
But Daily tasks have become a war
As you go thinner
There is only one winner
Waiting, to die
In a chair, with a sigh !
© chrisroberts

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Memories

Memory is such a precious thing !
you don’t realise how important your memory is until you start to lose it .I don’t mean just forgetting where you put the car keys or where you parked the car this is all part of ageing, all part of natural brain shrinkage. Most of the time all one has to do is stand still, look around and eventually you’ll remember what you wanted to do , or you retrace your steps and you find your car or lost item.
The difference with dementia is that if one should forget something ,that memory is lost forever ! you don’t ever remember . All people seem to do is constantly remind you that you’ve just forgotten . Can you imagine what it’s like to just completely forget where you are ? Or what you’ve done ? Or what you said yesterday or even five minutes ago ! it’s horrific and no sufferer wants constantly reminding or prompting , please 😉😉

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